As sunlight begins creeping over the dorms of Internet University, massive waves of students begin their daily routines, with IMing and long cafeteria load times abound. We join a scene in the bedroom of notable info-maniac personality Twitter as his roommate Facebook attempts to get him out of bed
Facebook: "Twitter! Come on get up!"
Twitter: "I'm getting up! Stop poking me!"
Facebook: "Well hurry up! I could write four notes by the time you get ready"
Twitter: "Okay, I'm up. Now I'm putting on my sock"
Facebook: "I don't need the play by play, Tweet"
Twitter: "Dang, I can't find a good shirt. I'm now searching my closet. Im still looking"
Facebook: "Seriously, man. So unnecessary"
Twitter: "Kinda like that layout change I caught you formatting last week."
Facebook: "Shut it! Myspace is comin' in"
Myspace: "H3y GuYs! I 4m t3h c00lz!"
Twitter: "I am confused. I am hoping FB understands what Myspace said"
Facebook: "Myspace, bro, I asked you not to do that"
Myspace: "I d0n7 n33d y0uR cR4p, FB. I 4m t3h b35t!!!!1"
Twitter: "I am now asking FB why his little brother is acting so oddly"
Facebook: "He's been doing this for a while now. I don't know what happened. He used to be pretty popular too. But now
Myspace: "I 4m 57ILL t3h c00lz! My hUnDr3d5 0f 4dv3rTI53m3nT5 s4Y s0!"
(A scream roars in from off stage)
"YOUR NOT KOOL, YOU F#@%ING Fg!"
Facebook: "Oh great. Here he comes"
(An erratically dressed youth storms into the room, attempting to light a cigarette. He fails, and promptly glares at his fellows with a face smeared in black make-up)
Twitter: "Youtube just entered the room"
Youtube: "HEY F#$KERS WASSUP!"
Facebook: "Do you really need to do that?"
Youtube: "DO I REALLY NEED TO DO YOUR MOM? WHY YES, Fg!"
Twitter: "I am now remembering how offensive Youtube's comments usually are"
Google: "What's this shouting? Is there a problem here?"
Facebook: "Mr. Google!...uh actually, Sir, Youtube here was being quite obnoxious."
Google: "Reaaally? Well, well, Mr.Tube. I'm sure you remember last time you spoke out against my will."
Youtube: "SHUT THE F@#$ UP, YOU NAZI! THIS ARE CENSORSHIP MAN! HIS NOT MY FATHER!"
Google: "Don't make me search for ways to silence you, son. Cause I will, and I'm sure as hell feelin' lucky"
Youtube: "Noooo! LET DONT HIM TAKE ME YOU F@#$ERS! YOU GUYS SUCK A## JUST LIKE JEWS AND BLACKS AND GOD AND GRAMMAR!"
(Google drags Youtube off stage as the confused lad screams out a disturbing version of "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley)
Twitter: "Youtube has been taken away by Mister Google. He is probably in maintenance mode right now"
Facebook: "Don't even joke about that, Tweet"
Myspace: "H3 h4d 1t c0m1nG. H3's s0 0ff mY t0P 31ghT"
Facebook: "I really doubt he cares, Myspace"
( Yet another student of IU stumbles into the room, having overheard the argument with Youtube and Google. This young man, however, is neatly dressed in a sweater vest and rounded glasses that easily compliment his abnormally circular head. He straightens his posture and addresses Facebook)
"Actually, statistics show that over 80 percent of MySpace friends feel the prestigious position of being among someone's 'top eight' is truly something worth achieving. Tom Anderson, founder of Myspace, agrees with this sentiment, having been quoted several times defending the Top Friends mechanic in public
Twitter: I am now greeting Wikipedia
Facebook: Hey Wiki
Wikipedia: As I have previously stated several times prior to this incident, I do not appreciate the moniker Wiki as that distorts my otherwise pristinely professional persona ninja turtle
Facebook: Wiki have you been messin with the editing again?
Wikipedia: I utilize the editing portion of my abilities only when required, as I serve as both a resource and a tool to all the strippers that landed on Venus yesterday
Facebook: D@##it, hes back on the horse. You told us youd stop that crap, Wiki. Remember last time? You nearly failed outta English because you insisted that Thoreau was an undead Power Ranger.
Twitter: I am recalling a memory of Wikipedia also failing Philosophy because he refused to take a stand on anything being discussed
Wikipedia: I am an unbiased person, Twitter, unlike Paris Hilton, who was in my bed last night with a rubber frying pan.
Myspace: M4n, tH1s 3d1TinG 5TufF 50unD5 4w350mE.
Facebook: Myspace, so help me
..listen, Wiki, we need to know where you got this stuff. Whos your supplier?
Wikipedia: My supplier is Aaron Carter, the last samurai of Whales. Reference needed!
Twitter: I am starting to believe this is hopeless
Facebook: Hold on everyone. (Facebook runs into the hall) Hey! Hey, Mr. Google!
Myspace: d4nG 1t wHy5 h3 g0T T0 g3T g00gl3 b4Ck 1n H3r3. 1 w45 jU5t 4b0uT t0 p05T s0m3 N4UghTy P1x!
Twitter: I have lost my appetite
( Facebook re-enters with Mr. Google close behind )
Facebook: See, sir? I dont know what else there is to do. He cant tell us where he got it
Google: Mr. Wikipedia, what is my name?
Wikipedia: The Sun is widely considered the largest sumo in the galaxy, though James mom would have to come close
Google: This is worse than I thought. You did a good thing coming to me, Mr. Facebook. Your actions get more than a few Likes from me.
Facebook: What about the supplier?
Google: Oh dont worry about that. Ive got him this time. This time, Ebays goin down hard